SPAIN
Ola Perras!
If competing to be Max's favourite European city was ever some form of barfight, Barcelona just smashed its empty glass over Cologne's head and beat Amsterdam in the face with a barstool. After which it turned round, pointed at Paris, and said "don't even fucking think about it". France would probably surrender anyway.
Barcelona is awesome.
Everything about it just puts me in mind of how all big cities should be. It isn't grimy like London can be, or depressing like Moscow, it's cooler than Berlin and it isn't a mindless French clusterfuck like Paris.
The only city I can compare it to in my experience would be Trier, where the old lives alonsgide the new without being confusing. However, Trier lacks a beach, a cable car and decent weather.
The hostel we stayed in was a major upgrade from Paris, even though when we first found the very non-descript building it was in with a big For Sale sign over the door we got a little worried. They also decided to change the lock on the second night which made their key somewhat obsolete so we just had to buzz until someone let us in. That wasn't as enjoyable. Otherwise great.
I'm gonna bombard you with pictures now; I'll say, as ever, that the rest will be on facebook within the week, but with regards to previous uploading of photos experience, take this promise with a big big pinch of salt; the facebook uploader can be shit.
I'll start with general city photos, shall I? These ones are fairly typical of the main roads and wicked little side streets that Barcelona enjoys having.
Take note, Paris: This is how a major city CAN work if you pull your finger out and design your roads well. No honks, no beeps, no near-misses. And Barcelona had almost as many bikes as Holland. No way in hell could Parisian drivers deal with that.
One thing Barcelona has whored from Paris however is the Arc de Triomphe which I mentioned in my last France post. What the Spanish one lacks in size by comparison, it more than makes up for in general design and location choice.
The photo below is taken from just in front of the arch, looking down the boulevard (is it a boulevard? Does this qualify for boulevard status? It's a boulevard) in the opposite direction.
This is me in part of an old cathedral in Barcelona's big cultural hub, which we spent a day looking for without realising we were in it. I'm looking rather touristy. And on a lion.
One of the highlights would probably have to be Gaudi's Sagrada Familia cathedral. Having already confessed to cheating on Cologne with Barcelona, I'll backtrack briefly to say that even after a lengthy comparison, the Cologne Dom would still win in the "ZOMG that's incredible" architecture competition. It's wicked nonetheless.
These photos would have been a lot better without the shitload of cranes and scaffolding going on. It's also worth noting in the lower photo that the building actually continues right down almost to where my foot level would be; it's bastarding huge.
This is me doing my best nonchalant British-person-abroad pose in front of La Rambla, a big street designed for mugs, tourists and the gullible. There is some crazy shit on this street. Remember, anyone carrying beer cans will first offer you a beer. If this is declined, hash will be suggested, "the best hash man, the best. Outta my country man, my country, the best. 40 euros a gram. Nah nah wait, 35, 'cos you my friend man".
Take it elsewhere, Spaniard. There exists a country called Holland.
It does however have this bloke, who kicked ass.
Just in case this photo is a little unclear, he holds onto the stick and his arse levitates 3 feet off the ground, while he waves and smiles and poses for photos with his other hand. What did kill the experience for me was seeing his friend, who presumably takes the next 'shift', standing just to the left wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a fag in his mouth, except with his face painted gold and wearing another horns headdress. He looked a bit like a fan who was a little too keen.
I lost my paella virginity while here. I went for the chicken option over the seafood, as nothing puts you off a plate of rice more than a pair of Langoustines sprawling over the top of it.
This restaurant is special enough to offer seasonal garrisons. I didn't ask what the current 'garrison' on offer was, but had I ordered it, I'd have been more than disappointed if they hadn't brought a load of soldiers with "Winter" written across their helmets to go with my paella.
Barcelona also has a beach. I was introduced to the Mediterranean for the first time.
This guy has lots and lots of time.
Another high point was the art gallery. Unfortunately we didn't see any art, so the gallery itself wasn't exactly a high point as such, but the views from the top and surrounding area were definitely worth it.
I believe that's a bullring in the background. I'm also a big fan of this photo. I don't even think I was consciously posing for this one, which is a definite bonus.
And this is me with the art gallery itself. I'm a big fan. This picture does no justice whatsoever to the size of this building.
And this is the view from in front, right at the top of the steps. Something about it puts me in mind of Rio de Janeiro. Maybe its the rolling hills with a big sprawling Metropolis underneath. Either way, Cologne has no hills of this calibre.
Winning in Barcelona.
It's a brave man who tries the chocolate milkshake at the Hotel Colon.
Similarly, I will pay good money to anyone who can give a plausible explanation to the indescribable, horrific wonder below. This was in a shopping centre in Barcelona's "most culturally rich leisure area"
Look at that thing. Not only has someone sat down and designed it, some poor sod in Spain has had to pay for the fucker. If this was England, it would be the taxpayer, probably for some politician with odd tastes. It depresses me to think that, for the UK, "£10,000 of public money frittered on giant gnome taking a dump" would be a believable occurrence.
A statue of a boy squeezing a frog. This is one of the most sadistic statues I've ever seen. There is no artistic value; it just seems cruel. Is this tradition in Spain? Superstition?
A collection of wooden knobs, and wooden people sporting large knobs. Your call.
In case you weren't already aware, the Grim Reaper is Spanish. He lives on Barcelona beach.
And a guy taking some handbags for a walk.
That's pretty much all of it. Like I say, don't hold your breath waiting for the rest of the pics to appear, but you get the basic idea. Barcelona is a pretty sweet city.
Ola Perras!
If competing to be Max's favourite European city was ever some form of barfight, Barcelona just smashed its empty glass over Cologne's head and beat Amsterdam in the face with a barstool. After which it turned round, pointed at Paris, and said "don't even fucking think about it". France would probably surrender anyway.
Barcelona is awesome.
Everything about it just puts me in mind of how all big cities should be. It isn't grimy like London can be, or depressing like Moscow, it's cooler than Berlin and it isn't a mindless French clusterfuck like Paris.
The only city I can compare it to in my experience would be Trier, where the old lives alonsgide the new without being confusing. However, Trier lacks a beach, a cable car and decent weather.
The hostel we stayed in was a major upgrade from Paris, even though when we first found the very non-descript building it was in with a big For Sale sign over the door we got a little worried. They also decided to change the lock on the second night which made their key somewhat obsolete so we just had to buzz until someone let us in. That wasn't as enjoyable. Otherwise great.
I'm gonna bombard you with pictures now; I'll say, as ever, that the rest will be on facebook within the week, but with regards to previous uploading of photos experience, take this promise with a big big pinch of salt; the facebook uploader can be shit.
I'll start with general city photos, shall I? These ones are fairly typical of the main roads and wicked little side streets that Barcelona enjoys having.
Take note, Paris: This is how a major city CAN work if you pull your finger out and design your roads well. No honks, no beeps, no near-misses. And Barcelona had almost as many bikes as Holland. No way in hell could Parisian drivers deal with that.
I don't even know exactly how many photos I took of these little streets. I just love them.
One thing Barcelona has whored from Paris however is the Arc de Triomphe which I mentioned in my last France post. What the Spanish one lacks in size by comparison, it more than makes up for in general design and location choice.
The photo below is taken from just in front of the arch, looking down the boulevard (is it a boulevard? Does this qualify for boulevard status? It's a boulevard) in the opposite direction.
This is me in part of an old cathedral in Barcelona's big cultural hub, which we spent a day looking for without realising we were in it. I'm looking rather touristy. And on a lion.
One of the highlights would probably have to be Gaudi's Sagrada Familia cathedral. Having already confessed to cheating on Cologne with Barcelona, I'll backtrack briefly to say that even after a lengthy comparison, the Cologne Dom would still win in the "ZOMG that's incredible" architecture competition. It's wicked nonetheless.
These photos would have been a lot better without the shitload of cranes and scaffolding going on. It's also worth noting in the lower photo that the building actually continues right down almost to where my foot level would be; it's bastarding huge.
This is me doing my best nonchalant British-person-abroad pose in front of La Rambla, a big street designed for mugs, tourists and the gullible. There is some crazy shit on this street. Remember, anyone carrying beer cans will first offer you a beer. If this is declined, hash will be suggested, "the best hash man, the best. Outta my country man, my country, the best. 40 euros a gram. Nah nah wait, 35, 'cos you my friend man".
Take it elsewhere, Spaniard. There exists a country called Holland.
It does however have this bloke, who kicked ass.
Just in case this photo is a little unclear, he holds onto the stick and his arse levitates 3 feet off the ground, while he waves and smiles and poses for photos with his other hand. What did kill the experience for me was seeing his friend, who presumably takes the next 'shift', standing just to the left wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a fag in his mouth, except with his face painted gold and wearing another horns headdress. He looked a bit like a fan who was a little too keen.
I lost my paella virginity while here. I went for the chicken option over the seafood, as nothing puts you off a plate of rice more than a pair of Langoustines sprawling over the top of it.
Good effort chef.
This restaurant is special enough to offer seasonal garrisons. I didn't ask what the current 'garrison' on offer was, but had I ordered it, I'd have been more than disappointed if they hadn't brought a load of soldiers with "Winter" written across their helmets to go with my paella.
Barcelona also has a beach. I was introduced to the Mediterranean for the first time.
This guy has lots and lots of time.
Me gazing out towards the little harbour. The cable-car tower is in the background. If I had as much time as Captain Sandcastle in the picture above, I'd have gone for a ride.
Being on the beach a mixed experience for some.
Another high point was the art gallery. Unfortunately we didn't see any art, so the gallery itself wasn't exactly a high point as such, but the views from the top and surrounding area were definitely worth it.
I believe that's a bullring in the background. I'm also a big fan of this photo. I don't even think I was consciously posing for this one, which is a definite bonus.
And this is me with the art gallery itself. I'm a big fan. This picture does no justice whatsoever to the size of this building.
And this is the view from in front, right at the top of the steps. Something about it puts me in mind of Rio de Janeiro. Maybe its the rolling hills with a big sprawling Metropolis underneath. Either way, Cologne has no hills of this calibre.
Winning in Barcelona.
It's a brave man who tries the chocolate milkshake at the Hotel Colon.
Anyone with any ideas of the thinking behind a rooster with a dog's body, do let me know.
Similarly, I will pay good money to anyone who can give a plausible explanation to the indescribable, horrific wonder below. This was in a shopping centre in Barcelona's "most culturally rich leisure area"
Look at that thing. Not only has someone sat down and designed it, some poor sod in Spain has had to pay for the fucker. If this was England, it would be the taxpayer, probably for some politician with odd tastes. It depresses me to think that, for the UK, "£10,000 of public money frittered on giant gnome taking a dump" would be a believable occurrence.A statue of a boy squeezing a frog. This is one of the most sadistic statues I've ever seen. There is no artistic value; it just seems cruel. Is this tradition in Spain? Superstition?
"Don't forget to squeeze your frog tonight, Pedro. You don't want the flu now, do you?"
A collection of wooden knobs, and wooden people sporting large knobs. Your call.
In case you weren't already aware, the Grim Reaper is Spanish. He lives on Barcelona beach.
And a guy taking some handbags for a walk.That's pretty much all of it. Like I say, don't hold your breath waiting for the rest of the pics to appear, but you get the basic idea. Barcelona is a pretty sweet city.
