GERMANY
This could turn into a long post.
I thought that after 5 and a half months and meeting a plethora of Neuerburg inhabitants, they couldn't possibly be any new, stranger ones. The ones which immediately spring to mind are the lady who walks round talking to herself, the man who lives on the corner of Tränkstrasse and gazes out of his window at people, all day every day, and the guy who occasionally runs around naked at night in Neuerburg and Sinspelt, with very very wide eyes.
I was walking back from Rewe today when a car pulled up with two guys who I initially thought were from my school. Turns out they weren't, but he said he was having a party that night and would you like to come along too, English stranger? He actually spoke fantastic English - apparently he learnt it from Shakespeare.
So I figured, y'know, When In Deutschland, and because weekends here are boring as shit, I'd take a plunge and speak some bad German to some people I've never met before. Sorted. I was more than a little bit skeptical when he said "yeah man, there's gonna be about 50 to 100 people coming tonight".
In my experience, anyone who proclaims the arrival of 50 to 100 people for their birthday party is the same person who will take 50 to 100 negative phone calls an hour before the party begins. But, this is Germany, so I was cautiously optimistic.
Anyway, we were talking abaout crazy people. So, it's this main guy, the birthday guy, Gary. I arrived at the house at about 6 which turned out to be a little early so we sat in the kitchen and talked for a while. Ohh man. This kid was strange, not in a crazy way, but in an intellectual way. There is no way I can quite describe how it felt. The conversation included, but was not limited to:
This could turn into a long post.
I thought that after 5 and a half months and meeting a plethora of Neuerburg inhabitants, they couldn't possibly be any new, stranger ones. The ones which immediately spring to mind are the lady who walks round talking to herself, the man who lives on the corner of Tränkstrasse and gazes out of his window at people, all day every day, and the guy who occasionally runs around naked at night in Neuerburg and Sinspelt, with very very wide eyes.
I was walking back from Rewe today when a car pulled up with two guys who I initially thought were from my school. Turns out they weren't, but he said he was having a party that night and would you like to come along too, English stranger? He actually spoke fantastic English - apparently he learnt it from Shakespeare.
So I figured, y'know, When In Deutschland, and because weekends here are boring as shit, I'd take a plunge and speak some bad German to some people I've never met before. Sorted. I was more than a little bit skeptical when he said "yeah man, there's gonna be about 50 to 100 people coming tonight".
In my experience, anyone who proclaims the arrival of 50 to 100 people for their birthday party is the same person who will take 50 to 100 negative phone calls an hour before the party begins. But, this is Germany, so I was cautiously optimistic.
Anyway, we were talking abaout crazy people. So, it's this main guy, the birthday guy, Gary. I arrived at the house at about 6 which turned out to be a little early so we sat in the kitchen and talked for a while. Ohh man. This kid was strange, not in a crazy way, but in an intellectual way. There is no way I can quite describe how it felt. The conversation included, but was not limited to:
- The ENTIRE breakdown of the philosophies of Kant and Nietzsche, including aspects that he agreed with and ones that he disputed.
- The art of Michelangelo, including a famous one of well-known philosophers such as Aristotles and Plato, what he imagined they were discussing and the "simple power of the paintings beauty".
- Comparisons between aspects of his own life and childhood and that of Jesus (like, seriously)
- Bizarre, incomprehensible comparisons between his family's names and various real-world situations -
Him: "Y'know that US congresswoman who was shot in the head recently?"
Me: " .. Gabrielle Giffords?"
Him: "Yep. Guess what my mum's name is?"
Me: " ..."
Him, quietly, knowingly: "Gabrielle"
Me: " ..."
Him: "And my dad's name?"
Me: " .. erm"
Him, quietly, knowingly: "Carl"
Me: "What the goddamn fuck does Carl have anything to do with?"
(I didn't say this, but I thought it)
Me: " .. Gabrielle Giffords?"
Him: "Yep. Guess what my mum's name is?"
Me: " ..."
Him, quietly, knowingly: "Gabrielle"
Me: " ..."
Him: "And my dad's name?"
Me: " .. erm"
Him, quietly, knowingly: "Carl"
Me: "What the goddamn fuck does Carl have anything to do with?"
(I didn't say this, but I thought it)
- His place in the world as a young boy, advanced and knowledgeable beyond his years. He has the power to "read people" and feel their thoughts. He also told me this wasn't limited to people he was with, but "in a 1km radius as well". So, Neuerburg. I can read people in Neuerburg too mate. They're batshit insane.
- His awareness of a higher power, that he and he alone can tap into.
- His ability to "feel and not care". I think the phrase he used once was "feeling more than people want to feel". He promptly shows me a self inflicted gash across his wrist and points out "this wasn't suicide, I'm a very happy person. I just wanted to feel"
- He continued the suicide theme with "I was once stood on a roof about 7 metres high. I jumped off it, because I wanted to feel pain, something real. So I did, and broke both my hands. Now a normal person would have just lay on the floor crying for at least 10 minutes, but I was able to stand for about a second before I fell down. And there were no tears."
Now, that's still pretty lame, but the next bit however: "I felt as if there was a feather or something brushing my face, and I just knew then that it was an angel who had broken my fall." That is bullshit.
- Various references to the revolution, of which we will be the leaders (it started off just as our generation, but he whittled it down to just me and him as the night went on) and comparisons between himself and Barack Obama in terms of childhood and rise to power.
- A detailed explanation of the Illuminati, which as we all know is a secret underground sect controlling the whole world from behind the scenes. Turns out they're Jewish as well. He knows. Who'd have thunk it?
Thats probably about 80% of the whole hour and a half long conversation. I say 'conversation', it was more just him talking and me nodding blankly. Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big uncertain one. I couldn't have joined in if I wanted to. It was like talking to a German composite combining Jesus and Dr. Manhattan.
And throughout all of this, he decided to play the musical score of Inception in the background, which made it oh so much more terrifying. Apparently that film realigned his perception of dreams and subconscious and has given him some form of partial enlightenment. His words, not mine.
And the crowning comment came just before I was rescued by more of his friends arriving - "Today I'm only 18, and I'm already more aware than anybody else in the world. Seriously, no-one has considered the world and the universe more than I have. And I only needed 18 years. Tomorrow I'll be 19, and I'll be reborn. I mean that, Max."
Sir, the only thing you'll be reborn with is a hangover and a bedroom that smells of cannabis and chinese food.
As I expected, the whole "50 to 100" thing was an optimistic lie, I think we had 14 at the very most. His friends seemed a little more down to earth, so I spent a lot of time talking to them about normal things.
At about 10 however our hero invited me to come get some beer with him, which I agreed to. We bought beer, and were on the way home, when he decided to take a detour and show me "the highest point in Neuerburg". For me, looking at stuff in Neuerburg is "been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, the hoodie and the matching bedsheets" in it's most extreme form. This was no exception, except it was at night.
As we were standing there, on this tiny lonely road, in complete silence, he said "I love this place. Sometimes I come to read the stars. All you ever hear is animals and nature; nothing will disturb you here". And then, in the most perfectly, perfectly timed piece of unintentional comedy, a guy on a moped buzzed over the horizon at about 20kph, coming towards us. I couldn't even help myself laughing. It was moving so slowly, making that 'bbvvvvvvvvvv' sound that mopeds do, and the whole scene was just so prolonged. That may have been one of the funniest moments of this year, but it really was a 'had to be there' moment.
That's all I have for you today. That was such a ridiculous night it's hardly true.
I also just checked my stats again. The irony of someone finding an account of a year in Neuerburg with this post as the opener after putting "way to hell" in a search engine is just beautiful.
And the crowning comment came just before I was rescued by more of his friends arriving - "Today I'm only 18, and I'm already more aware than anybody else in the world. Seriously, no-one has considered the world and the universe more than I have. And I only needed 18 years. Tomorrow I'll be 19, and I'll be reborn. I mean that, Max."
Sir, the only thing you'll be reborn with is a hangover and a bedroom that smells of cannabis and chinese food.
As I expected, the whole "50 to 100" thing was an optimistic lie, I think we had 14 at the very most. His friends seemed a little more down to earth, so I spent a lot of time talking to them about normal things.
At about 10 however our hero invited me to come get some beer with him, which I agreed to. We bought beer, and were on the way home, when he decided to take a detour and show me "the highest point in Neuerburg". For me, looking at stuff in Neuerburg is "been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, the hoodie and the matching bedsheets" in it's most extreme form. This was no exception, except it was at night.
As we were standing there, on this tiny lonely road, in complete silence, he said "I love this place. Sometimes I come to read the stars. All you ever hear is animals and nature; nothing will disturb you here". And then, in the most perfectly, perfectly timed piece of unintentional comedy, a guy on a moped buzzed over the horizon at about 20kph, coming towards us. I couldn't even help myself laughing. It was moving so slowly, making that 'bbvvvvvvvvvv' sound that mopeds do, and the whole scene was just so prolonged. That may have been one of the funniest moments of this year, but it really was a 'had to be there' moment.
That's all I have for you today. That was such a ridiculous night it's hardly true.
I also just checked my stats again. The irony of someone finding an account of a year in Neuerburg with this post as the opener after putting "way to hell" in a search engine is just beautiful.
